Mind Memorandum

If you believe in any sort of higher power, spirituality, force of life, or predetermined destiny-lined path; hear this.  Everything will change.  Constants sway, shift, rock, fall, climb, and soar across our endless uncharted skies.

Change is undeniably, entirely, and unbelievably necessary; refreshing and healing.  Flow with it, feel it, expect it, embrace it and live for it.  Learn from it.  Everyday.

{to be continued}

Origins

I Built this Home

from the darkness,

the sun

Moments now,

and gone

Sharp letdowns,

highest hopes

Time running out

empty

light bright

keys lost in the

middle of the night

Bare land burnt

days on end

Years did not

mend

Turned around

rearview navigation,

the great unknown

puzzles

pieces

I Built this

Dream

way back

when

all of everything

fell roughly

gently into

place

I Built this

Life

of dust and rust

burst through barriers

stardust shimmers

roaring fires

soothing souls

Found my key

broke that lock

ran from rain

felt the shine

I Built this

Place

far from perfection

did not meet my previous expectation

now it is

all I’ll ever need

{JSC}

Compression Confessional

Sometimes I hold my breath so hard

the wind knocks me

out

When I cannot, do not want to

gasp for

air, there

is nothing keeping

it in, away

Hidden, buried below

all my

PRESSURE

Not now or

evermore, will

expectations cease

stabbing me senseless,

breathless

until I’ve dissolved

misunderstood, intensely

waiting,

fiercely wanting

success…

Reprieve

  
More than notes, afraid to leave the silent piano,

of my soprano tongue.

Halves, quarters, and whole.

You are the depths of the lengths

of the mountains I have been waiting

to climb.

In time, you have melted my glaciers

into a ravenous river,

that flows.

I know the secret to the unanswerable

practically unpractical.

In all actuality, it was me

waiting for your construction zone.

Could it be,

demolishment as a sentiment?

You cradled my broken beating box

slowly, and sweet.

Retreat does not suite me now.

Locked in your arms is where I want to wait,

for the last of lights to flicker out.

From the rise to the set,

let me walk nearby.

Sing the words,

let them go awry.

Intoxication within your

demonstration.

Years of the same

sort of pain and ponder,

and I wandered straight to you.

Magnetically charged,

bright boisterous bombs.

Right now is the finally,

a feeling of revelry.

Holding tightly to my new specialty.

I never knew I needed the rest,

but your suave soothing severity,

has kept me,

in bed.

Number One

Today I got the news.  I was accepted to my first ‘big girl’ college.  The University I have been dreaming of, planning on, and working so hard towards for the last two years of my life.  Portland State.

So many decisions to make.  So many things to plan.

And so my future awaits.  I am proud, excited and completely terrified.

This vision still afloat

now in

the hands of

all the planets’ pulling

The unsettling of

the heart pushes

now, against

the palette of my path

until I reach that

fork that stands out

So very well

acquainted

we are

even in the dark

But the light is coming soon

No coins will

be tossed

Which way the wind

blows is

no matter to me

I see

Not right, nor left

not seen, only felt

Forward.

New Skies

Your hair all over my bed

Your face, in my head

You bring out the new in me

change the way I see

I’m learning how to readjust

and all the ways of letting go

I don’t know what will be

But you have been the best possible thing

All I know,

all I dream,

these days

is

If the stars fell from the sky

If the airplanes no longer flew

You are the one I want to lean on

And just maybe we could learn to fly

Into a brand new dawn

Bending the Bricks

She watched from afar, admiring what was never hers

Accepting things she never before knew how

Silence, now the strongest sound

The show will go on

As much as she once believed otherwise,

Her story moves forward as planned

Through distance and years

So, too, goes the hourglass’ sand

Shrapnel

I may go out kicking and screaming,

at first 

but that will soon fade

While I encompass your mind, long after I’m gone

Will you enjoy your bitter shade?

All those times you could not wait,

to be rid of me

Reverberate your soul now

in a different plea

Don’t you worry,

I will leave quietly

Freedom is yours

Disappearing deeply, ever so softly,

closing those doors

The only sound now is the shattering of hope

Dead in the night

After all this time, I have lost all my fight

And if you ever wonder, my dear

What became of that girl you once knew

Bury each and every thought

For I will surely be doing alright

Again

The depart 

Breaks me into

A million pieces

That never end up 

Together again

No glue could ever fix

The ways

I am broken

And the day makes the loudest sound

That never fades

Every minute screams out 

My body, writhing in the light of day

Throughout the darkest of the night

Chest burning 

Breathe shortened 

Outside of the blurred lines

Inside of a dream that 

Never fades

The day doesn’t come

Odds win the war 

All that stays the same 

Is everything we had before

Puddles Turn into Rivers

I walked along, in the pouring rain, as slow as I could

 one foot in front of

 the other 

 I wasn’t cold, I never felt a thing 

 Chet Baker in my ear, you were in my

 head 

 I was covered in

raindrops 

 Dancing quietly under

the 

moon 

 But what about my bed? 

 Those cerebral storms 

 Is it as empty as it feels 

 I’m not so much lost as, 

 Streetlights in my frame 

 Heartbeats guide me and I know exactly 

 where to go

 what to do 

 The celestial gleam is pulling 

 There are puddles

now and 

the streets are collecting 

 the sky’s downpour 

The night is mine,

I should 

 Go home 

 Call it a night 

 Still I keep sloshing through the

night rain 

 Tides pulling me 

 in every which way 

 There is no where left to go, 

 the sidewalks are rivers 

and I am

swimming now 

 in thoughts of you