Fluffiness Fondness

It’s okay to be whatever the fuck you want to be.  Without makeup, without covering up or being ashamed, without being cruel to yourself for not being perfect.  It is okay to look in the mirror and be happy.  I finally feel that.

It turns out, life is full of so much good.

There is so much potential waiting out there.

Even if you are a “plus size” women living in an overly critical world.

Even if you happen to have thick thighs, a pudgy tummy, a little jiggle in your step, a slight double-chin.

So many imperfections and million reasons to love me just the way I am.

I feel so comfortable being me lately.  I have accepted all the flaws.  Although I am always striving to better myself in countless ways, I will not forget to honor the sanctity of my current self.  This warrior woman made of fire.  Full of the wildest, unrestrained, unconfined passion.

Something wonderful happens when you have the strength to accept yourself and love every blemish.

The world replies, loving you back.

You attract whatever you give.  Simple, and absolutely true.

I’ve grown.  I’ve learned.  I am perfectly imperfect.

Always.

The Speed of Slowing Down

Today feels fresh.  New.

I am enjoying a short few weeks off before I return to school for my final semester in my undergraduate pursuit.

I have so many college/scholarship related tasks that must be completed very soon.  But that will not stop me from finding some time to get away.  I have made it a tradition to take a trip somewhere every time I finish a semester.  Whether it is somewhere I’ve already been or somewhere new, I know it will be a chance to relax my body and my mind.  I need the adventure to cleanse my soul.

I am living in the moment and that is the ultimate gift to myself.

Omnibus ad Lunae

So there’s that song, by No Doubt.  “Simple Kind of Life.”

That’s what I want.

I want to use my talents to create things,

work hard to provide for myself,

continuously learn new things,

cook delicious food to share with the people I care about,

travel to foreign places,

explore the unknown,

help people,

laugh,

earn enough money so that I can visit my family when I want to,

be able to support myself without constantly worrying about bills.

I want to write.  I want to dance.  I want to draw.

I want to laugh.  I want to have fun.  I want to share myself with others.

I want to love.

I have so much to give that sometimes it overwhelms me.  It consumes.

I don’t want to think.  I will not wish for the things I cannot have.  Those things do not belong to me.

I do not care to win.  I will not force anything.  I will let it happen, whatever it may be.

I am simply here to radiate myself and my gifts.  That is all I am meant for.

That is all I have ever been.  I finally understand.

Tabula 15

So I’ve made it this far and I feel quite fantastic. Slimmer and, most importantly, healthier.

It has been a challenging 2 weeks so far, but completely worth it.

My original goal was twenty days.  I am shortening that just a bit.  Not because I don’t think I could make it that far, or beyond.  Mostly because of my future weekend plans.  I have a nice evening planned on Friday and I want to be able to eat dinner, not just sit at the table while the other person eats.

I’ve been doing some research in order to prepare myself for real food again.  As much as I would love to strive to adopt a fully Vegan lifestyle again, it’s not entirely realistic.  So I will be returning to a vegetarian diet, with more of an emphasis on raw foods.  Also, no more cheese.  As much as it pains me to admit it, I cannot consume dairy products.  They do horrible things to my body.

Coffee, on the other hand, I haven’t decided.  I am worried that it was causing some of my health problems.  So I will reintroduce it slowly and see what happens.

I am excited to resume normalcy in a few days.  Well, almost.  I’ve never really been “normal”.

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Update from the scale:

27 pounds lost 🙂

Tabula 9&10

I am running a bit behind on these updates. School has been occupying most of my time. I guess it has been kind of nice not having to spend time on grocery shopping and thinking about what I am going to eat for 3 meals a day. I do, however, very much miss cooking. It’s one of my passions. That being said, here is a brief recap of the last couple days. 

Day 9- no big changes. Felt good. Not as tired as the day before. Not hungry or tempted by foods. 

Day 10- I spent the morning in Central Park and I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t wish I was sipping on some coffee while lounging on that park bench. 

After the park, I met my art class at the Met. It was a great day. I love visiting the museums. It’s so fascinating and teaches us so much about our history. 

I could smell everything so strongly. I was almost as if I was eating things through my nose. Haha. Hard to explain, really. 

Staying focused on my goal of 20 days, but listening to my body. Most importantly, I want to make sure I keep going until I completely detox and all the bad stuff is cleared out of my system. 

Down 24 pounds 🙂