Compression Confessional

Sometimes I hold my breath so hard

the wind knocks me

out

When I cannot, do not want to

gasp for

air, there

is nothing keeping

it in, away

Hidden, buried below

all my

PRESSURE

Not now or

evermore, will

expectations cease

stabbing me senseless,

breathless

until I’ve dissolved

misunderstood, intensely

waiting,

fiercely wanting

success…

Not Enough Hours in the Day

Listen up.  If someone in your life is a college student, I want you to know that they are carrying a great deal of weight.  It is rigorous, exhausting, extremely intense, and sometimes it feels like being trapped in the middle of a long, pitch dark tunnel – feeling as if you may never re-emerge amidst the light again.

It’s tough.  It is especially challenging when you are attending college as an unconventional, non-tradition student.

Sometimes, no matter how much support you know you have, this journey can feel soul-crushing.

What I am saying is this.  I have found that breaking point where I am giving all I possibly can and it still doesn’t feel good enough.  But, guess what?  It most certainly is.

I am human.  I have a pain threshold and I have reached it.

We can only do so much and no matter high how our self expectations may be, it is important to remember that we will never be perfect.  In the wise words of Miguel Ruiz:

“Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.”

I have been doing the best I can and although it sometimes feels like not enough, I have chosen to accept my limits.  I am prepared to let the failures intertwine with my success.

We all have our pressures in life.  That is undeniable.  But we all need a shoulder sometimes.  Please let someone vent to you today.  Or simply call and ask how they are doing.  That alone, may be the greatest form of relief that person receives in a sea full of chaos.

Love and Light,

 

Jamie