Staying present while dream chasing

I recently came across an article that discussed the importance of finding time to have fun and be joyful while you are working towards your goals, not just when they have been accomplished. This ignited a whole lot of personal reflection.

Our society is driven on constantly reaching the next goal. Often, we are striving for multiple accomplishments at once. Because of this, it is entirely possible to forget to live in the moment instead of always planning for what will happen “after I (fill in the blank).”

As a self-motivated, passionate, and driven person, I can honestly say that goal-setting is thrilling, challenging, and addictive. For me, goals are something that are always on my mind. In general, I have an overactive thought process; I have to remind myself to slow down and live in the moment.

Almost ten years ago, I made the most bold decision of my life when I uprooted my life to move from Arizona to New York City. Ever since then, I have been buzzing through a forward momentum of realizing and following my dreams. After my transition to NYC, the next substantial decision I made was to finally commit to enrolling in college in my early thirties. That is when my life truly started to completely transform.

Everything hit me full circle just the other day as I took a walk through my brand new neighborhood. I ended up at a Whole Foods location that I had shopped in 4 years prior on my first visit to Portland. Back then, I fell in love with the city and knew that it was where I wanted to move next. I remember how much I had admired the gorgeous neighborhood that I had stayed in during my visit. And here I am today, living in that very same neighborhood, a short walk from that very same store. I deeply believe that not only did I strive for that, I manifested it to life.

The last 4 years of college have been some of my most difficult, but the challenges have helped my grow in a magnitude of ways. I have certainly struggled with remembering to find the joy in my everyday struggles and successes along the way. And yes, now that I have graduated, my head and heart is still filled with thoughts of “what’s next?” But I am determined to stay present and remember where I came from, not just where I am going.

Because the truth is, all the places I have been and where I currently am, are a direct result of me honoring my own dreams. I wanted to live in NY and I made it happen. I wanted to get an education and I worked hard for it. I wanted a better future for myself and to work in a field that I am passionate about, and it is finally happening. I felt a pull to live in Oregon and I here I am. I was even lucky enough to find love along the way. Although I still have so much more to learn and a million new ways to grow, I am letting myself be vulnerable. I am finding happiness. I am here, still pushing myself to understand who I really am and what I need.

Here’s to finding the joy in every pursuit; throughout the discomfort, the awkward, the exhausting, the highs, the lows, the seemingly impossible, and everything in between.

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Origins

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I Built this Home

from the darkness,

the sun

Moments now,

and gone

Sharp letdowns,

highest hopes

Time running out

empty

light bright

keys lost in the

middle of the night

Bare land burnt

days on end

Years did not

mend

Turned around

rearview navigation,

the great unknown

puzzles

pieces

I Built this

Dream

way back

when

all of everything

fell roughly

gently into

place

I Built this

Life

of dust and rust

burst through barriers

stardust shimmers

roaring fires

soothing souls

Found my key

broke that lock

ran from rain

felt the shine

I Built this

Place

far from perfection

did not meet my previous expectation

now it is

all I’ll ever need

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Inner Dynamics

One month in. My meditation practice is lacking and so is my sleep. On the other hand, I have been balancing home and school life quite well. 

I have bursts of passionate drive lately where I wish I was out working with the homeless, volunteering my time in some way, or writing creatively and not only academically. For now though, my push is to continually strive to put as much of my energy as I can into my education. I know that this commitment is going to lead me to great things in my future. 

I am not referring to monetary or material rewards, but making a difference in this world. There is so much to be done and so much to influence. I will never stop sharing my voice and although I am merely a molecule within a sea of other beings, I know that what I have to say matters. 

Here’s to knowing what your passions are having the strength to live them loudly. 

Love and light, 

Jamie 

If the Sun Don’t Shine, I’ll Be Just Fine

The simple thing about dreams is, they don’t always turn out like Cinderella’s night at the Ball.  Life is not a fairytale.  Reality can be cruel.

As it happened, I did not end up being selected for the scholarship of my dreams.  It was disappointing, to say to least.  I had already imagined how life-changing it would be.  I vividly envisioned the future.

I could wallow in it and let it discourage me, but honestly, I am too busy preparing Plan B.  (Good stuff in the works)

If I am being honest, there was a brief moment that I let myself believe that all the hard work I put in at my community college would be in vain.  What a brutal thought that was.

The truth is, up until three years ago, I had no idea what I wanted to do with this gift of life.  My life.  I wasn’t sure what inspired me or where my passion was.  I know now.  Right fucking now.  I know what moves me. I know what pushes me.  I know what is worth fighting for.  I know what I am working towards.  I know what is driving me.

I will not stop pushing and climbing and falling and failing and succeeding until I accomplish my goals, breathe in my aspirations, and swim in my dreams.    And if that means I will also be swimming in pools of student debt, then so be it.