The Wind and the Sail

Tomorrow.  9 am. CHEMISTRY FINAL.

As I head into the most challenging exam that I’ve taken so far, I would like to talk about resistance.

This semester has been rough.  From the outside, it most likely appears that I have had it under control the entire time.  That, however, is false.

In semesters past, I have spent more of my down time studying.  Time was more precious these last few months, as was my energy level, and my mental and physical health.

There were times when I was so incredibly exhausted, that I had to give in.  I chose sleep over late night studying and, at times, naps over homework completion.

This, although very out of character for me, for necessary for survival.  If there is one thing I am, it is a warrior.

And so, while I do feel I pushed myself, it was not to my maximum.  If I would have worked any harder, I felt I might have given up, and I am certainly not a quitter.

That brings me to the topic of resistance.  You have to know when enough is enough.  I needed to protect the little bit of light and life that still radiates within.  Sometimes I feel that I gave up my livelihood in exchange for my quest towards my education.  My life has completely changed.  It has purpose and direction, but sometimes feels so trapped and alone.

So the sky is the limit.  I can join honor societies, maintain an impressive GPA, and conquer every class.  But if I don’t listen to the voice inside that reminds me to take care of myself, none of the other things matter.

I once was a workaholic and maybe now I have become a schoolaholic.

But I will never forget to put myself first because I am worth that.

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