It could be because I am mellowing out to some Pink Floyd or that the melatonin I took has me feeling a bit loopy, or perhaps the full moon. Tonight has me thinking.
Why is it as I slowly inch closer to my goals that I am struggling to even begin to understand or define who I am and what I stand for? Is it the knowledge that is pushing me into places I have never been before towards those thoughts I have never faced? The ones I have kept pushed away.
I believe that my shyness has never really gotten me anywhere in life. Then again, this newfound overly-confident, outspoken, much too sarcastic and maybe even inappropriate person I have turned into doesn’t feel too familiar either. That isn’t who I really am.
It’s somewhere just between. That is where I want to float. A cloud between the heavens and the seas.
Just because you have been, doesn’t mean you must continue to be…
I have to give my very first public speech at school next week. Somehow this is bringing out things I haven’t thought about in so very long. Years of being picked on and made fun of. I feel as if I’m 14 again.
I’m only two weeks in to the semester and I’m already feeling it. For me, the most important thing to remember is that I can only do so much in one day. When I have reached my maximum, I must relax.
So after an epic candle-lit bubble bath, I am off to bed so I am able to wake up early tomorrow and hit the gym. It’s been too long.